Moe Szyslak


Selling duff to the people of springfield

Term of service

1990- present

Battle status

Won against Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. Will Fight Benson

Moe szyslak is one of the many citizens living in springfield. He immergrated to america from Holland which is evident from his last name. He singly handedly run Moe's a bar where the normal folk come to get drunk and play pool. He knows next to nothing about being a bar man as his alcohol licence is a fake ( Being signed by him and having expired in 1979). This is evident when he once sold a bottle of rare wine for 5 dollers (which he then finds out the price from in a wine book kept under the bar). He is a very grouchy and mean man on the outside but can be kind and sensitive at rare moments. His face became so ugly after his career as a boxer where he retired after 50 knockouts (Him being the one being knocked out). Despite his repulsive face he has attracted may women with his charm and sensitivity but they have all ended in disaster. His self proclamied best friend is homer but he constantly mistreats him as he does all his regulars.

Battle against Apu Nahaspeemapetilon

Moe is walking around the springfield dump looking for anything valuable. He spots a diamond sitting in amongst an pile of rubbish. He goes to fetch it when suddenly a bullet flies past his head. He turns and sees apu standing at the far end of the dump with a assault rifle in hand. Moe takes out his trusty double barrel shotgun and fires at apu but the spread is too far to hit him. Apu fires another few shots at moe but they all miss. Moe then chages at apu, trying to close the distance between them. Apu tries to hit him again but the bullets just fly past moe's head. Moe (Having closed the distance) fires his shotgun but Apu leaps behind a pile of rubbish. He pops up and fires his assult rifle, shattering the barrel of moe's shotgun rendering it usless. This time moe leaps behind the pile of rubbish and finds a throwing axe. He throws it at apu, who blocks it with his assult rifle, destroying it in the process.

Apu tosses the rifle aside and picks up a Exucutioner's axe from the nearby pile of medival weapons and moe picks up a long sword. They both charge at one another, each swinging thier weapon at the other. As metal clashes and sparks fly, niether combatant seems to gaining an advantage. Apus manages to knook the sword out of moe's hand. He then tries to cleave him in half, but moe does a back flip and dodges it. He then runs back to the medival weapons pile and takes out a morningstar. He charges at apu and swings the mace, smashing his hand. Apu screams in pain and moe smashes him in the face with the morningstar, knocking him to the floor. As the illegal immergrant looks up all he sees is the spiked head of a morningstar, crashing down on his head.

Moe chucks the morningstar aside and goes back to the plae where he saw the diamond. He picks it up, puts it in his pocket and walks back to his bar.

Winner Moe

Moe won becuase of his training with firearms and his boxing skills.